This post is the first in an ongoing series of reader naming questions. I wrote my response below, but please help A. out in the comments! It’s always wonderful to have many different perspectives. If you need help naming someone, write to me on the contact page.
I am so glad to have found you! We are in the process of naming our second child, and our first son. We currently have a daughter named Jaxyn (nickname Jax), as you can see we seem to sway towards trendier less traditional names, not that we aren’t open to them, they just seem to capture our attention. Currently we like the two following names:
Beckham, and Brody … we really, really love Beckham, but we also have a friend who’s son is Beckham, and that is my main reservation in using it. So far we like the following combinations:
Beckham Grey, Beckham Grady, Beckham Shane and Brody Alexander. Do you have any other recommendations based on our style? Middle names for Beckham? Our last name sounds like “Waller,” with an “L.”
Other name styles I like but were vetoed by my DH- Holden, Ashton, Grayson, and Maverick… just to give you a better idea on taste.
Thank you very much for any help you can provide!
Thanks for writing! You’ll be my first ever reader question article!
You have a distinct style and you’ve described it well- you like trendy, modern names, especially surnames. Based on the tone of your letter, it seems that if you didn’t have a friend with a son named Beckham, you would name your son Beckham without hesitation. If I’m correct in that, I think you should name your son Beckham. It’s a name you both love and agree on. It fits your style and goes well with Jaxyn. It sounds nice with your last name.
I’m not a believer in “name-stealing”-your friends didn’t invent the name and they don’t own it because they used it first. Your son’s name will be a daily part of your life for as long as you live, and it’d be a shame to give up your favorite name just because you know another Beckham.
That said, people can get touchy about names they feel are “theirs,” and Beckham is rare enough that it could be awkward to suddenly announce you’ve picked it without warning. Personally, I would have a casual conversation the next time you’re around Beckham’s parents, something like this:
“We’re considering a few names. Incidentally, we really like Beckham because [give some reasons why you like the name, unrelated to their child] I think the boys might think it’ll be fun to share a name, a special bond they can share- what do you think?”
This accomplishes a few things:
- You have shown that you’ve considered the fact that your children will share names
- You’ve given them a heads up so the matching names are not a surprise
- You’ve explained why you like Beckham, unrelated to their choice
- In saying that the boys may like sharing a name, you’ve characterized what could be a negative “name-thieving” situation as a positive “name-sharing” one
- You’ve offered them a chance to voice their opinion and demonstrated that their feelings matter to you
Of course, there’s a chance they still won’t want you to use the name, in which case you have some decisions to make: Will they be so upset that it will cause problems in your friendship? If that’s the case, is the name worth it to you? Could they eventually get over it? Are there other names you like just as much?
I’ve spent a lot of time on Beckham because you seem to like it a lot, but Brody is a great alternative. Some other ideas that you may like, based on your style:
If any readers have ideas or suggestions for A., please let her know in the comments section!